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1. |
Preludi
02:15
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2. |
Mustelmat
02:43
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Mustelmat (Bruises)
I have made you cry so many times that it doesn't stir any emotions in me.
Why should I
even feel anything?
Because you
will always come back to me
I apologize
and everything's fine for a while.
You will
unpack your suitcase and cover up your bruises
I did not
mean a single word.
I know you
can never forget or hide the pain.
And no one
will believe what you say.
Even you,
yourself, do not believe in them
A good dog
does not bite its owner.
You will
always be mine.
You cannot
escape
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3. |
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Sinuksi, Sinulta, Sinulle (Into you, from you, to you)
In a Russian fur farm
they tear skins from live blue foxes,
and then throw them trembling into a heap
to wait for amnesty.
What does it say about us if I think:
that is what it’s like to love you?
I should be weaned away from you
like calves from their mothers on dairy farms:
by forcefully tearing, ignoring the sad, horrified screams,
by locking in a room –
isolate, until I forget.
For like a dog that licks its wounds and after whimpering for a while
gravitates back to the one responsible for them,
I am making my way back to You
In between acts
I have no identity.
Everything in me is built around You, is Yours.
I am of You, Yours, in You, from You, into You, on You, as You, to You, out of You, for You.
There's life before you and after you, there's a slow burning, cremation, and finally
wordily disappearance.
But the abessive case
Absent.
Kicked, beaten, locked in the freezing cold, tail between my legs
I am crawling, like bitches crawl
along the plastic mat,
I'm on my knees in front of you, your palms in my hair –
To you, from you, for you.
With your flesh pressing against my stomach
I remember again and again how it feels when you penetrate,
when you force me to my knees
and I think about something else.
These whispers in my ears,
love,
love.
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4. |
Hiljaisuus
01:03
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Hiljaisuus (Silence)
The quiet after the storm
I can hear the wind in the branches of the juniper tree
Silence fills this body and these four walls we call home
Home has turned into a prison
A prison, in which I am afraid
A sanctuary into a nightmare
The crying has stopped for now
The wind blows and its autumn again
Some things never change
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5. |
Veren tahraama
01:26
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Veren Tahraama (Bloodstained)
Bound by blood you are mine
From here on to eternity
The delirium of life
Today your pillow will be drenched in blood
And you will be the dog drowning in the shallows
As I thrive in madness and ecstasy
You intoxicate me
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6. |
Ave Maria
01:36
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Ave Maria
Within these walls
you want to be God.
With your fist in my mouth, you order me to recite The Lord’s Prayer, so that time would stop
My tongue makes room for You
and the words rumble from my chest
with everything else shrinking.
You grab the ponytail, and solemnly
raise it towards the heavens.
Moments before the cut,
poor girls begging for mercy,
foul-mouthed, corrupted, spoiled.
A moment before the punishment
Ave Maria pierces the cries,
blessed be the fruit of my womb.
In this darkness, your repeated actions have become signs of life,
but there is something intoxicating when you understand:
if this continues for even a moment longer
there will be nothing left.
And then I shall be easy to carry.
Darling, when you're ready with me,
I hope to be cremated in the same coffin with you.
Because in this version I never had the time to notice
I would have been mine forever
if I hadn't always just been
violently yours.
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7. |
Elämän jokainen hetki
01:12
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Elämän jokainen hetki (Every Last Moment)
I am love, the lord’s prayer
A summer
hymn, a wedding vow
The last rose
on the coffin
The moment of
life
Death’s last
staple
Bound by blood
Forever mine
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8. |
Epilogi
02:14
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